Dear journal

Dear journal,

Could you give some insight, your penner needs guidance.

Once again, it is me, who does not want to add another entry to you. Me who looks down upon expressing myself. No one is interested in this anyways, what are they to gain out of this? I could close you and try to forget your existence. Heck, distractions are too common and easy to come by, yet here I am. Doing what feels right, not what I want to do. I feel bored of all of them distractions, bored of life, or just online life? Although it might sound absurd, its getting harder to wake up in the morning, to prepare for another day of nothingness. But do I really want to write about all my issues all the time? Why can’t there be happy things to look back on?

Recently it was wifey’s and I’s 7 year relationship anniversary, yes, about to be 25 and already 7 years together, what is life man? Never expected anything like this, but she’s so cute and shit, yk? Without her, there wouldn’t be a me, that much I am sure of. What is this mysterious invisible pull she has on me? How does she manage to pull me back in every time? Writing this whilst she’s asleep, I don’t think she knows the extend of her influence on my life. My empty meaningless life. The only meaningful thing is her, her smile, just all of her.

… The best thing that ever happened to me…

Writing here is always a clash between the desire to express oneself and the fear of vulnerability.

Well enough of me writing this story, I am the author of it, you end here.