Losing a loved one

My brother recently died, I made this site whilst mourning his death.

I guess everyone mourns differently, some decide to lock up their emotions for eternity, others laugh it away.

Most of the time, I feel numb, numb to the world around me, the beauty and the pain all feels the same. His death however, it made me feel deep sadness, something I hadn’t felt in ages. In some wicked and fucked up twisted way, it felt refreshing to feel again, even though I only felt sadness for the past week, it feels kind of nice.

The song Asleep among endives - Ichiko Aoba is strangely comforting, even though the song has deeply rooted sad undertones, it feels, as if, as if everything will get better.

I am convinced that it is healthy to feel this overwhelming sadness, yet, it doesn’t feel good.

Emotions are hard, and trying to bring them into words even harder, forgive me if I have failed you brother! I wish I was there to see you go, guide you to the afterlife, or just be of any kind of help. Unfortunately I had to take care of others, I hope you understand, I had the best intentions, I really had, the best intentions!

One day we will be reunited, possibly soon, possibly late, it all depends upon fate, but when we meet, I shall embrace you as if my life depended upon it.

Farewell brother, you made me realise somewhere I am still human and able to feel.

Godspeed! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️