Why depressed?

Short answer: idfk, what do you think?

Long answer: Might have something to do with the shit I have been through. Most of my memories of my mother are those of a child being mentally abused. Made to belief things, things that the child knew weren’t true. But someone you look up to persisting they are, inducing emotions for her own gain, playing a game without a goal in sight.

I always felt as if she was out to do as much damage as humanly possible. And I am not sure what’s worse, that it is my own mother who, to an extend, ruined my life and the lives of those in my family, or that she actually still stalks me to this day. How twisted and absolutely fucked do you need to be?

Just hope I have inherited as little as possible… Last thing I want, is to do anything remotely similar to the people in my life, or even be anything like her.

Hope I haven’t injured others too much, during my existence. People nowadays are so bitter, they fake friendliness, hide honesty to behind closed doors. What are they so afraid of? If anything, I’d appreciate a little more honesty in my life. Honesty doesn’t mean or excuse rudeness, you can be honest and kind at the same time.

Anyways, back to why I am so fucked.

My mom is the kind of person that seems super kind and sociable at first. She hides her hideous intentions behind a smile. Then little by little, she starts to lift the mask. Aks if you have some excess clothing, in order to plant a seed. The next few times, she mentions other minor stuff. And eventually starts to ask for money when you think you built-up a somewhat good relation… Of all the times I saw her literally steal other peoples hard earned money, she never regretted it and even seemed to enjoy it. She’ll act like a supportive friend and figure out what you want to accomplish in life. To eventually use that against you and make you dependant on her. I’ve seen it too many times. Her sociopathic/psychopathic tendencies are invisible to people from the outside. She knows how to manipulate everyone and anyone. A true danger to society!

I feel like I hate my “home” country because of her. I’d rather be in any other country than the one I am currently living in. This country makes me feel depressed. The constant thought in the back of your mind. The paranoia kicks in. You don’t feel safe anywhere,and absolutely miserable everywhere.

Since she’s capable of manipulating anyone and doing anything. She can come out of any corner. You can’t trust kindness from anyone or accept their willingness to help. You don’t know who could be behind it.

Wish life was a bit simpler and I wouldn’t have to look over my shoulder on every checkpoint in this game. Just to make sure the boogey-woman doesn’t suddenly show up and absolutely ruins everything.

I realize that I am leaving out many key details, and its on purpose. The craziest shit isn’t worth telling to anyone. The fewer thoughts I can give about this piece of shit human being, the better!

That’ll be the end of talking about her then?!? Hopefully…